Modern Day All-American Love Story

(names have been changed to protect the individuals in the story)



Modern Day All American Love Story



It all started on that horrifying day when time seemed to stand still for America. On September eleventh, 2001, two planes, hijacked by terrorists crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. Two other planes were also hijacked, one crashing into the Pentagon, while the other crashed into an empty field in Pennsylvania. Thanks to the bravery of the heroes on board, the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania never made it to its ultimate destination; it never had the chance to kill more Americans.



Theirs was a meeting of chance, brought about by the tragic events of 9/11. Jeff was a military police enlisted in the Navy, stationed at that time in Guam. Kate, also stationed in Guam, was working in satellite communications. The terrorist attacks in the United States caused all military installations, worldwide, to heighten security. Kate was pulled from her duties and worked under Jeff in security.



After getting off duty that night, Kate told herself, “I am so in love with that guy!” A friendship ensued between the two during their time in Guam. Fortunately for them, when their tour of duty was over in Guam, they both were stationed in San Diego, where they soon started dating. Jeff soon expressed to Kate that he was interested in BUD/S training (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL Training). Kate was very supportive of Jeff’s interest in becoming a Navy SEAL. During our chat she giggled, and said, “I always thought SEAL’s were so hot!”



The next chapter of their budding romance was like a whirlwind. Jeff proposed to Kate in September of 2003. They were married on Saturday, January 4th, 2004, and Jeff started BUD/S training on Monday, January 6th, 2004. The average United States Navy SEAL spends over a year in a series of formal training environments before being awarded the Special Warfare Operator Naval Rating and the Navy Enlisted Classification (NEC) 5326 Combatant Swimmer (SEAL). According to the official website of the United States Navy, SEAL’s training is “widely considered to be the most physically and mentally demanding military training in existence.” Kate practically overflowed with pride during our conversation. She is so proud to have been with Jeff and supported him through his Navy SEAL career from the very beginning.



As with most military careers, deployment is always something that soldiers and their families have to deal with, especially during the tumultuous times since 9/11. Jeff was deployed to Iraq in October of 2006. By this time, Jeff and Kate had been blessed with their beautiful little girl Haley. At the time, Haley was two-and-a-half; in addition to Haley, Kate was pregnant with their second child. During the Thanksgiving holiday Kate and Haley were visiting Jeff’s family in Arkansas. With the technology available today, Jeff and Kate were able to have very regular contact. There was an eighteen hour lapse from the time of day that Jeff usually called Kate. She really didn’t think too much of the lack of phone call, but soon their world would be turned upside down.



The following excerpt is from a Facebook chat with Jeff detailing an attack that left him and a comrade severely injured: “On November 19, 2006 three groups of six SEALs each stepped out of their forward operating base in Ramadi, Iraq. Our mission was to set up snipers over watches to limit the freedom of movement of insurgents, allowing U.S. Marines to safely search a block of houses that were full of insurgent safe houses. We entered the house around one o’clock a.m. and set up sniper lookouts. At about noon an insurgent threw a hand grenade through an opening in our house and injured one of my guys. We fought for a little while; we then called for Bradley fighting vehicles to pick up our wounded. When the Bradleys got there, we fought our way out of the house, and two of us were injured when an improvised explosive device (IED) detonated just feet away. We were severely injured in the street, and unable to walk. Two SEALs came out and dragged us back into the house. After applying tourniquets and stopping the bleeding, we were picked up by more Bradley’s and taken to the first medical stop. Within the next few weeks I was transported to multiple hospitals, including Germany and Bethesda, MD, finally ending up at Balboa in San Diego where I was reunited with my family.”



When Jeff was finally able to call Kate to tell her he had been injured, he was very nonchalant about his injuries. He told her that he had been injured, that he was fine, and that he was coming home. Kate’s strength after hearing the news of his injury was phenomenal. “I didn’t want our daughter to feel that anything was wrong. I also needed to be strong for Jeff’s parents,” is what Kate relayed to me when I asked her if she completely broke down. In fact, she didn’t cry until she was on the phone with the ticket agent to change her flight plans to get home sooner.



After his injury in November, Jeff was walking and doing things for himself by April. However, it was one year before he was fully recovered. After his recovery, he took the Navy’s PRT (Physical Readiness Test), and passed with outstanding results. At this point in our conversation, Kayla felt the need to interject something about Navy SEAL’s in general. “That's something else about these guys; they will die trying to be the best of the best. Just like the PRT; Jeff had something to prove to everyone: his teammates, himself, and all the doctors that said he would never be back to full duty and ready to go back to war. So he was really excited about the PRT, because it was his way of saying, ‘I'm back!!’”



During Jeff’s time in the hospital, Kate and Haley were with him during all visiting hours. It was such an exhausting time for them all. The wives of the SEAL’s on Jeff’s team rallied around Kate providing endless support. They even set-up a meal schedule to supply all meals for Jeff’s wife and daughter. The Official Naval Special Warfare website states, “There are about 2,500 active duty Navy SEALs.” With such small numbers, one can understand just how close-knit the SEAL community is. Kate said, “There is a sense of obligation to everyone; these guys will save my husband’s life, and he will save theirs. The wives rally around each other in times of need. It is such a great thing!”



As mentioned above, two SEAL’s were injured during the attack. Elliott was even more severely injured than Jeff. His injuries were severe enough that he lost a leg and also has speech troubles. Jeff suffered quite a bit of grief and anguish over Elliott’s injuries. The bond that they shared as a result went far beyond their military service. In fact, Jeff and Kate named their second child Elliott. There is a beautiful addition to this part of their story. Elliott underwent physical therapy to help him with his injuries. He and his physical therapist fell in love, and later had a baby boy. Of course they named him Jeff!



Currently, Jeff is deployed; he is doing a tour of duty in the Philippines. Kate is pretty excited because they have four months in on this tour, and only two months left. With Jeff at the seventeen year mark of his military career, their family only has three years left. For the remainder of his career he will do shore duty in Alaska as an instructor for one of the BUD/S training phases. It will be a great break for all five of them. Five? Yes five! In addition to Haley and Elliott, Jeff and Kate welcomed Emerson into their perfect family in August of 2010.



With all the hype in the news in recent months about Navy SEAL Team Six, I was very curious if being a member of that team was something Jeff had ever been interested in. The answer was a very emphatic, “No!” Kate said that SEAL Team Six is always on call. “If you are on Team Six, the Navy completely owns you,” she said. Jeff is a family man; the time he spends away from his family already fills them with loneliness. None of them are interested in being separated anymore than they already have been.



The pride that Kate has in Jeff is strong and fierce. She reiterated that communication is key in their relationship, and they have their communication down pat. We ended our conversation with Kate saying, “I ask myself all the time, ‘How did I score this amazing man to be my partner in life?’ He is great at everything he does. He is a great SEAL, husband, dad and friend. How did I get this lucky?”



All members of the United States Armed Forces have always had my utmost respect; they are heroes. They allow me to feel safe and sleep well at night. They offer my children a bright future of safety and independence. The sacrifices they make are amazing. However, after my conversation with Kate, I realized that not only the soldiers deserve our respect. The families that they leave behind on the homefront are just as heroic as they are. The sacrifices that the families also make for their country make them heroes as well.

Co-parenting - Not an easy job! Especially when you are the step parent!

I believe that children should have fun, but they also should be taught responsibility and independence. I believe that they should understand the value of a dollar. I believe that they should be held accountable for their actions, both good and bad. Co-parenting with someone who does not share the same ideals is difficult at best.





It angers me that someone is not willing/able to contribute to some of the school and extra-curricular activities that their children participate in. Don't get me wrong, I am MORE than happy to pay for anything and everything that my children need, whether their other parent contributes or not. However, when I am told that I have to pay for it all because they are broke, but they always have a cigarette in their hand, Nikes on their feet and Abercrombie on their clothes, I must admit, I get a little bit bent out of shape.



I struggle to teach my children to be happy and grateful with what they have, and for the most part I do a pretty darn good job at it. My children are not embarrassed to shop at Kmart and Walmart. However when one of the other parents insists on only name brand clothing and doesn't bat an eyelash at dropping $700 dollars at the mall, it makes my job difficult. A few weeks ago some sports clothes needed to be washed and I asked why his mom didn't wash them over the weekend like they are supposed to. The response: "We don't have enough money to do so much laundry." Said the kid who had on brand new Nikes, Abercrombie sweatshirt, $60 jeans and a $50 Phiten necklace. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!





I wonder if that same kid knows that I have loaned his other family hundreds of dollars over the past year. I wonder if he knows that I have made sure that BOTH of his houses had enough food in them to keep him fed. Probably not. He thinks I am mean because I don't believe in allowance for everyday things. I am not willing to pay him $20 per week for taking out the garbage. I am not willing to allow him to stay up as late as he wants on a school night. I am not willing to overlook when he doesn't do his required reading and homework for school.



I wonder if he realizes that I have never missed a sporting event of his, I have never missed a parent teacher conference, I wonder if he realizes that just about everything "extra" that he has gotten to participate in is because of me. I am sure that he has no idea that the reason I push him to be better is because I want him to have a fulfilled life. I want him to know how to take care of himself when I am not there. I want him to know how to operate a washing machine when he goes to college. I want him to know how to budget his money so that he never has to go without.



Being a step-parent is the hardest "job" I have ever had. I have all the emotions of a regular parent, all of the work of a regular parent, but none of the rewards. Sometimes I just want to give up, but I know that if I did, he would be floundering around with no sense of stability. I just hope that someday he will recognize how much I love him, how much I have sacrificed (just like with my "real" kids) to make a good life for him. Maybe someday when he has children of his own, it will dawn on him how great I really am, how much I really did.



Until then, I will continue to be the mean step-parent because it is the right thing to do.

Accepting life on life's terms

I got a couple of e-mails a little while ago that left me in tears. It is silly because either of them are really changing my life at all. Neither are causing my family any harm, but they are just disappointing me. When I was trying to relay the information to my husband, I just burst out in tears. He asked if I wanted a hug; I told him that I would take a hug, but that a Xanax would be much more effective!



For the past couple of weeks I have bee feeling the dark, strong fingers of depression trying to claw their way in, trying to bring me down to their deep, black hole of bitterness, and despair. Depression is a disease that I have struggled with for about 10 years now. Depression is something that I will face for my entire life. I take a strict regimen of medication to keep me balanced and functioning. Sometimes though, the depression is stronger than the medication and I have to fight to keep myself on an even keel. So, since I have bee fighting to keep my head above water for the past few weeks, when things happen that I let agitate me, it is not a good or healthy thing.



Accepting Life on Life's terms is a very hard thing for me to do. I tend to be a bit of a control freak. I like to be in control of everything and how everything happens. It has always been important to me that life happens when I want it to happen.



I found out today that the closing date on the home we are purchasing has to get extended out three weeks. One would think that I would take that for what it is because I use to be a Realtor. I know that this happens, and I know it can happen for a variety of reasons. However, it is making me crazy that it is happening to me! In the grand scheme of things, it is not going to be a big deal at all. In the short term, it still isn't a big deal. However, it changes my timeline, and I don't do well with that!



This set-back really isn't something that I can't handle. I simply need to make a few phone calls about moving dates. But still, it makes me want to pull my hair out!!



I want people to take what I say at face value; I hate to be questioned! I hate to be called out on something that I do, especially because I am a darn good person, and never do anything that would deliberately hurt or disappoint someone. Besides my husband, there are three other people that I co-parent with between my son and my step-son.



Usually things run very smoothly between my ex-husband and his wife and I. We are all very mature about co-parenting, have gotten over our differences, and put our son first in everything we do. I felt like I got verbally attacked today by one of the people I co-parent with via e-mail. I responded in the same way that I felt like she wrote to me. Right ow I am feeling a bit guilty, because when I went back and reread the e-mail, she really wasn't attacking me. She was simply letting me know something that was bothering her in a very tactful and respectful way. And me being the person that I am right now, totally took it wrong. Even her follow-up e-mail to my snide response was very nice and respectful. Grrr! I hate myself at times like this. So, I will be taking my big huge foot out of my big huge mouth and apologizing to her momentarily.

Recent recipes I have tried

For the past few weeks I have been in a baking and cooking mood. Very Susie Homemaker if you ask me. Some of the recipes I have tried have been absolutely magnificent! I thought I would share them here with those of you who might be feeling a little domestic like I was. I got all of these off of Pinterest! You will be able to tell from the recipes that I love dessert!


Cheesy Chicken roll-ups were AAAAHHHH-mazing!

1 pkg cream cheese (8oz)
1 pkg crescent rolls (6 ct)
2 shredded cooked chicken breasts
1.5 C grated chedder cheese
1 C grated Monterey Jack
1/4 t salt
1/4 t pepper
bread crumbs
1/4 stick melted butter

Combine chicken, cheeses, salt and pepper.

Spoon onto crescents.

Roll them up making sure they are sealed around the chicken mixture. Brush tops with butter and sprinkle with bread crumbs.

Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. To reheat, just place in a 325 degree oven for 15 minutes.

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Squares. These went fast!

1 pound white chocolate
1 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips or 12 ounces of chocolate
1/2 cup heavy cream


Line your pan (I used and 8 x 8 pan) with parchment or waxed paper, leaving an overhang. (you can also use foil however you will need to spray it with cooking spray).

Melt your white chocolate in your microwave for about a minute, stir until the chocolate is melted and creamy. Add in the peanut butter and stir until blended and smooth.

Spread mixture into your pan. Refrigerate for 15 minutes or until a bit firm.

In a saucepan, combine your milk chocolate and your cream and heat over medium high heat until melted and smooth, stirring constantly. Pour/smooth over peanut butter mixture.

Chill for at least 3 hours or overnight. Later, lift out the candy and cut into small squares.

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Lemon Crinkle Cookies. These were delightful!

Lemon Crinkle Cookies
Makes 2-3 dozen

Ingredients:
½ cups butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 whole egg
1 teaspoon lemon zest
1 Tablespoon fresh lemon juice
¼ teaspoons salt
¼ teaspoons baking powder
⅛ teaspoons baking soda
1-½ cup all-purpose flour
½ cups powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease light colored baking sheets with non-stick cooking spray and set aside.

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Whip in vanilla, egg, lemon zest, and juice. Scrape sides and mix again. Stir in all dry ingredients slowly until just combined, excluding the powdered sugar. Scrape sides of bowl and mix again briefly. Pour powdered sugar onto a large plate. Roll a heaping teaspoon of dough into a ball and roll in powdered sugar. Place on baking sheet and repeat with remaining dough.

Bake for 9-11 minutes or until bottoms begin to barely brown and cookies look matte {not melty or shiny}. Remove from oven and cool cookies about 3 minutes before transferring to cooling rack.

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Smashed Potatoes. Even my picky eater who hates potatoes liked these!

12 whole New Potatoes (or Other Small Round Potatoes)
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
Kosher Salt To Taste
Black Pepper To Taste
Rosemary (or Other Herbs Of Choice) To Taste (I used Italian Seasoning)

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Add in as many potatoes as you wish to make and cook them until they are fork-tender.

On a sheet pan, generously drizzle olive oil. Place tender potatoes on the cookie sheet leaving plenty of room between each potato.

With a potato masher, gently press down each potato until it slightly mashes, rotate the potato masher 90 degrees and mash again. Brush the tops of each crushed potato generously with more olive oil.

Sprinkle potatoes with kosher salt, fresh ground black pepper and fresh chopped rosemary (or chives or thyme or whatever herb you have available.)

Bake in a 450 degree oven for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.

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Fruit Salsa with Baked Cinnamon Chips. This is absolutely the perfect recipe to welcome Spring!!

2 kiwis, peeled and diced
2 Golden Delicious apples - peeled, cored and diced
8 ounces raspberries
1 (16 oz) carton of strawberries, diced
2 tablespoons white sugar (more or less to taste)
1 tablespoon brown sugar (more or less to taste)
3 tablespoons fruit preserves, any flavor (I used strawberry)

10 (10 inch) flour tortillas
melted butter or butter flavored cooking spray

Cinnamon sugar:
1 cup white sugar
2 Tablespoons cinnamon

1. In a large bowl, thoroughly mix kiwis, apples, raspberries, strawberries, white sugar, brown sugar and fruit preserves. Cover and chill in the refrigerator at least 15 minutes.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

3.Coat one side of each flour tortilla with melted butter or butter flavored cooking spray. Sprinkle tortillas with desired amount of cinnamon sugar. Cut into wedges and arrange in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Spray again with cooking spray (not necessary if using melted butter).

4.Bake in the preheated oven 8 to 10 minutes. Repeat with any remaining tortilla wedges. Allow to cool approximately 15 minutes. Serve with chilled fruit mixture.

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White Trash Bars All I can say about these is OH EM GEE!!!!!!

The four ingredients are:
one box of Ritz crackers {255g}
one bag of Skor bits {270g}
one can of sweetened condensed milk {300ml}
one tub of french vanilla icing {450g}

Crush up the Ritz crackers.
Place in a greased 8"x8" pan and pour the sweetened condensed milk over top.
Mix in the bag of Skor bits.
Give the mixture a good stir and pat down into the pan.
Place in the oven at 350 degrees F for 15-20 minutes or until the edges start to bubble and caramelize.
Allow to cool then slather on the icing and cut into bars.
It's even better the next day.

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Cookie Dough Dip. Yum-O!

1 8-ounce package cream cheese
1/2 cup butter
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup toffee bits

Cream together cream cheese and butter.
Add all remaining ingredients and mix until well-combined.
Serve with graham crackers or apple wedges. We also used Teddy Grahams and Nilla Wafers.

Do NOT use reduced fat cream cheese as it may cause your dip to have the wrong consistency.